Becoming More Assertive and Building Your Confidence

Abbeydale Training Ltd

Reed Courses Certificate of Completion

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• Introduction 02:36

  • 1: Introduction Preview 02:36

• Why it's Important to be Asserive 04:43

  • 2: Why it's Important to be Assertive 04:43

• Defining Assertiveness 16:30

  • 3: Defining Assertiveness 16:30

• Choosing Assertiveness 07:03

  • 4: Choosing Assertiveness 07:03

• Communication and Behaviour 15:12

  • 5: Communication and Behaviour 15:12

• Building Inner Confidence 08:43

  • 6: Building Inner Confidence 08:43

Being assertive and confident is something that most people struggle with and, when polled, others have come up with questions such as these

• How do I resist the pressure of more dominant people?
• How can I feel more in control in certain situations?
• How do I get my point across without being talked over?
• How do I stand up to bullies?

We encourage you to examine your reasons for wanting to become more assertive, define situations or relationships in which you feel you lack confidence.

Sarah looks at the benefits to becoming more assertive both in your professional and personal life.

• It helps you build stronger and more satisfying personal and professional relationships
• It is an essential skill in leadership, helps you to develop your managerial potential
• You are better able to deal with problems and problem people
• Reduces frustration and confrontation
• Enables you to deal with issues before they escalate

In situations of stress, confrontation, dominance in others, frustration, our natural reaction as humans is to go into either fight or flight mode.

If we go into fight, there is a tendency to seethe internally, over-react, confront the person and become aggressive – sometimes without even realising we are doing this. Our natural instinct, what we think & how we feel take over how we communicate & behave

If we go into flight mode, we withdraw from the situation, avoid confrontation and repress our own opinions in favour of others. Once again, our natural instincts, what we think and how we feel take over how we communicate and behave.

Assertiveness is a choice, a skill that can be learned and practised, it begins with personal choice and self-control and the ability to;

1. Change & control what we think
2. Change & control how we feel
3. Change & control how we behave and communicate

Sarah will explain the tools of communication we have as humans

• Visual Impression we create – body language, posture, facial expression, clothing
• Sound & tone of our voice - volume, pace, pitch, strength, inflection
• Language – words and phrases we use

Much of our ability to read and understand anther person comes from what we see, the visual impression includes;

• Posture- your spine, it creates an impression when you walk in a room
• Shoulders
• Head position
• Level / position
• Eye / facial contact

The tone of our voice carries a lot of information, remember, it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it….Research has found that during a quiz, when we feel more confident about knowing an answer to a question, we speak louder, more quickly and deeper.

• Clear, enunciated words
• More bass
• Appropriate volume
• Appropriate speed

What we say does have importance and getting the phrasing right is the foundation of conveying confidence.

• Words and phrases that match the needs of the person receiving the information
• Don’t apologise too much
• Be directive not requesting
• Will you close the window
• Please close the window
• Own your message
• I think, I feel, my opinion is...
• Remove passive phrasing and using words like 'only', 'just' or 'afraid'

Sarah will look at inner confidence and outer confidence

Inner confidence – programming, wiring, experiences and patterns of behaviour. What we believe and trust about ourselves.

Outer confidence – is the way we present ourselves,

They are often at odds with each other, we appear confident on the outside and yet feel anxious, over whelmed and unworthy on the inside.

To create a confident outer self, work on the inner self. This is much easier said than done but some tips include;

• Believe in yourself
• Talk positively
• Find your purpose
• Set goals and celebrate progress
• Support others
• Take care of yourself

Finally, practise and change the way you respond by looking at 3 situations and what passive, aggressive and assertive looks like for each.

Replace these situations with situations of your own, when you felt you could have responded more confidently, then work out the different responses.

Start the journey to becoming more assertive and confident.

Becoming more assertive and building confidence can benefit you in many areas of your life.

It can improve your communication skills
Clear expression of thoughts and needs: Assertiveness helps articulate ideas and preferences effectively, reducing misunderstandings.
Better relationships: Confident and assertive communication fosters mutual respect in personal and professional interactions.
It helps to establish healthy boundaries
Assertiveness enables people to set limits without guilt, protecting their emotional well-being.
It reduces the likelihood of being taken advantage of or feeling overwhelmed by others' demands.
It helps to enhance your decision-making skills
Confidence encourages individuals to trust their judgment and make decisions without excessive self-doubt.
Assertiveness aids in advocating for one's choices, especially in group settings.
It will boost your self-esteem
Taking assertive actions reinforces a sense of self-worth and self-respect.
Successfully navigating challenging situations builds a positive self-image.
It helps to advance your career opportunities
Employers value confident individuals who can communicate effectively, take initiative, and lead.
Assertiveness helps in negotiating salaries, promotions, or addressing workplace concerns.
It reduces stress and anxiety
Confident people feel more in control of their lives and interactions, which reduces stress.
Assertiveness minimizes resentment and frustration by addressing issues constructively.
Confidence and assertiveness encourage stepping out of comfort zones to take on new challenges.
These traits promote resilience and adaptability in the face of setbacks.

Developing assertiveness and confidence is an empowering process that helps individuals lead more fulfilling, balanced, and successful lives.

There are no requirements to attend this course - apart from the desire to become more confident and assertive

Although there is no set career path associated with this course - it is recognised that confident and assertive people occupy positions that are appropriate to their skills, knowledge and experience. And they aren't afraid to ask for that salary increase.

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