Unfortunately, you can’t choose your work colleagues…
No matter where you work or how long you’ve worked there, you’re bound to have come across your fair share of irritating team members – whether it’s that they’re slightly annoying or downright unbearable.
Characterised by: their unique talent of doing nothing (but looking like they’re doing something).
Most commonly found: pretending to talk about work, on their tenth break of the day, or playing games on their phone in the bathroom.
Characterised by: their shameless efforts to persuade their boss to put them above everyone else. Also particularly skilled at making it seem like everything was their idea.
Where you’ll see them: having ‘banter’ with senior staff, giving the thumbs up, or confessing their self-proclaimed greatness (within close proximity of their boss).
Characterised by: their knowledge of everything and everyone. Whether it’s an office romance, suspected affair, or someone’s getting sacked, the gossiper is always the first to turn it into a game of Chinese whispers.
Most commonly found: by the water cooler, starting conversations with ‘did you hear…?’, or covering their tracks with abrupt subject changes.
Characterised by: an unstoppable urge to bring up every aspect of their personal life. Spending time with them is almost like live streaming someone else’s diary; you don’t really care, but you also can’t stop listening.
Most commonly found: sharing intimate details of their life, asking others how to improve their online dating profile, or crying.
Characterised by: their inability to deal with anything calmly. They’re loose cannons; unpredictable, angry, and rarely seen without a red face – meaning working alongside one is slightly terrifying.
Most commonly found: screaming, shouting, swearing, or wildly flailing their arms in rage.
Characterised by: their constant need to interfere with every task you’re set. No matter how competent you are, the micromanager will take control – and make you wonder why they asked you to do it in the first place.
Most commonly found: everywhere.
Characterised by: a penchant for venting/moaning/being sad. The complainer is a stranger to silver linings, swings and roundabouts, and bright sides – and is much happier talking about the rain, how tired they are, their workload, or how Tim from Accounts stole their mug.
Most commonly found: pointing out problems, asking when they can go home, or complaining about (insert any subject here).
Characterised by: their flustered expression and stressed-out demeanour – which they desperately disguise with forced smiles and copious amount of highly stacked paperwork. Clearly bitten off more than they can chew, but often used as proof that you could ‘work harder’.
Most commonly found: at work, working from home, working on holiday, working whilst asleep…you get the picture.
Characterised by: their ability to overthrow any meeting, conversation, or presentation with the sound of their own voice. The worst part? They never really have anything good to say.
Most commonly found: interrupting people, making bad jokes, or talking about themselves.
10. The antagonist
Characterised by: their love of pointing out everyone’s flaws. The antagonist spends most of their day searching for problems and has a field day (at the expense of others) when they find them.
Most commonly found: making mountains out of molehills, or repeatedlyexclaiming that they ‘have to be cruel to be kind’
Characterised by: cunning attempts at dropping their colleagues in it. Called in sick with a sprained ankle? The snitch will show your manager a video of you doing star jumps that same day. Thanks for nothing, Sharon…
Most commonly found: Eavesdropping on conversations, disguising statements with questions, or trawling social media for clues.
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